The 5 Most Normcore Automobiles

Dressing as one’s dad once did isn’t exactly new. In his later years, John Quincy Adams affected the bald-pate/serious-sideburns look that his father so memorably wore.

More recently, in the 1990s, twentysomething cool kids raided their pops’ troves of old bowling shirts and other polyester curios. Laughably dated as it may now seem, the look at least offered a measure of off-kilter flair and awkward panache—of awkward as hip totem.

But the kids at the shows now have kids of their own, and they’re more au courant than dear ol’ mom and dad ever were. After supping at the trough of Adams-worthy facial hair while crafting artisanal pig-bone napkin rings, the latest young-folk-in-NYC fashion trend is “normcore.”

Those of you expecting a bunch of kids covering Minor Threat while dressed as George Wendt, please stop. You’re dating yourselves. The new norm is exactly that—dressing like Joe Schmuck from Oklahoma City, Des Moines, or Fresno. To most of the country, this is known as wearing clothes.

Blasted into the national consciousness by New York Magazine a couple of weeks ago, the trend has since been touched on and dissected by Gawker, The Guardian, and “Today.” We’ll save you the agonizing over what it all means and get to suggesting the top five new vehicles for normcore adherents who’d care to take the ethos to its logical conclusion.

So what, then, would the most stringent normcore adherent drive? We’ve chosen five vehicles that comprise a smorgasbord of vehicular anonymity, with choices appropriate for anyone interested in being a part of the latest cultural phenomenon, from those merely dipping a toe in the tepid waters of normishness to the most ardent J.C. Penney customers.

5. Toyota Camry Hybrid

The most balanced and efficient Camry, the hybrid is also the least norm. A perfect choice for the driver perpetually teetering on the edge of poseurdom.

4. Toyota Camry L

The Camry L takes the fourth position by dint of its utterly basic nature. It’s a conveyance for people who need a car but could care less about cars. Normy, sure. Aggressively normy? Not necessarily.

3. Toyota Camry LE

Attention Kohl’s shoppers, the Camry LE starts at $23,680, destination included.

2. Toyota Camry SE Sport Four-Cylinder

The SE V-6 is reserved for hard-core Denny Hamlin fans. The four-banger, however, is just the ride for the norm who fancies himself slightly edgy, even if the world at large still sees him as a Camry-driving middle manager from Lenexa, Kansas.

1. Toyota Camry XLE V6

The XLE V-6 driver has committed himself to the ultimate in Camrytude. This is a person who’s plunked down 33 large on an example stuffed to the headliner with both bread and butter (or Mazola), a gray-on-gray testament to practical finery. Although he’ll forgo the mud flaps, (deeming them just a tad too Vermont) this Camry buyer will happily spring for door-edge guards, body-side molding, all-weather floor mats, paint-protection film, remote start, and an ashtray cup. Normcore aficionados, the XLE V-6 is your vehicular Bad Brains, your automotive ground zero.