Features

April Fools, From The Carmakers!

Here at Carhoots we love a good April fools
prank, and none more than those cheeky ones made by the otherwise very serious
bigwigs from the public relations departments of the worlds car manufacturers.
This April, Nissan, BMW, MINI and Volvo all gave us a good laugh, take a look.

Nissan Toast-R


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The headline figure is this: It “blasts
sandwiches from zero to grilled in just 2.9 seconds”. Rumors say that it can
lap the Toasterring – the benchmark proving ground for all sandwich-toasting
devices – quicker than Porsches blistering 911 Turbo Toaster. We believe that
the Toast-R, while savagely fast at toasting things lacks the refinement and a
certain level of analogue involvement offered by Porsches more useable and
luxurious 911 Turbo Toaster. That said, this minor hiccup hasn’t stopped a
fierce following of Toast-R lovers from taking to literally every form of
social media – Twitter, Facebook, forums and particularly Youtube – to express
their views, support the Toast-R, and voice strong hatred for literally every
other performance toaster on sale, according to these Toast-R fan boys even the
legendary 1200hp Bugatti Toasteron Super Sport – the fastest production toaster
in the world – cannot compare to the cheese – and face – melting Nissan
Toast-R. We’ll report back in a few weeks time with a detailed toast test after
we’ve had a chance to fully experience what critics are calling the “Godzilla
of toasters”.  Watch this space.

BMW Closes Down A Motorway Lane

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Audi drivers on motorways were made very
jealous today by BMW who had a kind word to the transport authorities asking them
nicely to designate one motorway lane to loyal BMW drivers. And rather
surprisingly, they did! Probably. Of course the cocks in Audis completely
ignored all overhead signage as per usual, so BMWs plan got a bit ruined. But
to show those inconsiderate Audi-ists the error of their ways, BMW got crafty;
they sent the Rozzers out to patrol the designated lanes on some speedy, brand
spanking new BMW S1000 RR motorcycles, probably.

Volvo Shows EnVeloP External Airbag System

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This according to Volvo is the “embodiment
of the Volvo brand philosophy”, which if we’re honest, is a little worrying,
because what this is, is a car
enveloping airbag. The ‘EnVeloP’ system takes vehicle safety to a whole new
level and will allegedly play a crucial role in Volvos desire to have zero
people injured or killed in car accidents involving their vehicles by 2020.
Within the muscular roof of the all-new V40 hatch is a small box containing a
folded in and vacuum pulled balloon that is made of similar material to that of
actual airbags. Volvo public relations officers told Carhoots that it “unfolds
in the blink of an eye”, and that they’ve “got far too much time on [their]
hands”.

MINI Connect Us App Gets Frisky


Mini

MINI drivers sporting spikey hair from the
90’s, dowdy jeans and filthy facial hair who struggle to er, interact, with the
opposite sex needn’t worry about the whole finding a woman thing anymore
because their beloved MINIs are here to save the day and be their Cupid! Minis
new Connect Us app is the “speediest and most reliable” dating service on the
planet. Connect Us looks at more than just hobbies, interests and other useless
information that’s never going to find you a partner, but more importantly, at
your driving style. It measures your throttle, brake and steering actions via
the MINI Driving Excitement Analyzer, obviously, to find you a “compatible co-driver on the
journey of love”. According to Mini, it’s the ideal wingman, and we honestly
can’t see why it wouldn’t be. It’s brilliant!

BMW M6 Active Noise Control review- EVO World
Exclusive


Lots of
new performance cars these days pipe ‘fake’ noises into the cabin through the
stereo instead of having equally satisfying noises blaring through the exhaust
system, burning lots of petrol and ruining the fuel consumption and emissions
figures. So, a company close to EVO Magazines headquarters in the UK decided it
might be fun to see how they could manipulate the software and how far they
could take it. The results, as you’ll see are simply astonishing. Technology
these days!

Which
was your favorite?

Let us know by tweeting us @carhootsUK!


By Aiden
Taylor ( @AidenT_RD )

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